3 years now...

I can't believe it's been 3 years now since Nicky's passing. It still feels like yesterday. Time creeps upon us without us realizing it. I was just in here the other day and looking at all of the pictures of Nicky and it felt like someone from the behind stabbed me in the stomach and twisted the knife. I was pained with grief about not being able to whistle my call tune and watch Nicky waddle towards me with his tail wagging and literally smiling at me. It is hard, still, but I don't cry like I used to. And as soon as I feel this deep pain, I shut it off and smile that I've had 14 great years with the boy. And then I quickly look at my two current dogs, Chance and Sheli. They are the greatest joy I have in my life at the moment. I still have pictures of Nicky up in different room in my house. Always will. He'll always be a BIG part of my life.... just like Chance and Sheli will.... just like any other Labs I'll ever have as long as I shall live on this planet. I'm just really, really hoping that all of them will be joining me up in heaven when my journey on this earth is over. Seriously...

A year later

It's exactly a year since Nicky's passing. Today marks one year. I am still affected by his loss. I get whammed with deep emotions every now and then (and it seems to happen so often at work and I don't know why) and cry in pain. I miss that darn good ole dawg!

I know I haven't been putting in any entries in here like my last message said, but it's been an extremely hard year for me to even want to visit this blog. I guess it took me this long to really grieve over his loss. I still am not sure if I will be back shortly to add in more entries for that reason (still need more time) and also because right now at the very moment, I'm busy with a new puppy (10 weeks old). The puppy is Chance's sister. If you don't know about Chance or Sheli (the new pup), check them out in their blogspot at www.mydogchance.blogspot.com

Later.

More to come later

I have plenty more pictures of Nicky, but I'll have to dig through my boxes of photos to find them. Once I do, I'll get them scanned and posted up in here. To be continued....

Nicky in February 2004. Just a few months before he died. This was one of the most recent pictures of him before he passed. When I see this one, I cry because he looked so old. He was actually on a good day that day because then he couldn't really stand up fully without bending down. His hind legs were slowly giving up on him. Poor baby. He was 13. What a darling, my baby Nicky is. 

Just one of those days when I felt like taking a picture of him. He is photogenic. You should see all of the posters I have made of him. He takes great pictures. Anyway, this was in '96, making him 10 years old. 

At Barbara's condo (where I lived at for 4 years). Nicky was posing with BooBoo (Barb's dog). Pokey, her other Shih Tzu decided to sunbathe outside on the patio instead of joining them for this snapshot. Nicky was 11 years old then.

Nicky accompanied me to the YMCA Deaf Camp at where I was one of the directors. He was a wonderful companion and a working dog! He was just 'da best!'

The "lion and lamb" of the Collette/Newman clans. This picture was outside my parent's house in South Torrance, CA and we always called them the lion and the lamb. They were best friends and it was hard on Baby (the poodle) when she realized that Nicky was gone for good. 

"Doo...doo...doo...Jaw's coming!" Nicky LOVED to swim! He would swim in the ocean, lakes, rivers, and any water he could get into. This was at Lake Isabella, CA  

At a campfire at one of our camping trips. He was only 7 months old and just a young fella (and I was only 22). He was fascinated with the fire, but knew better not to go near it. He'd rather be by my side, which I loved having him right besides me.

At one of our camping trips...dozing off. He had a long day and he finally set down for an evening nap. We went camping numerous times. 

AJ (my nephew) and Nicky were playmates when AJ lived with us. They were inseparable. 

This was a couple days after I first brought him home. He was an adorable pup! 

This was on Christmas Eve 1990 when I first got Nicky. I named him Saint Nicholas Claus after "Santa." He was the best gift I've received in years and I was thrilled with my new puppy. He was only 8 weeks old in that picture and a big fella! 

This is one of my favorite pictures of myself and Nicky (then 3 years - 1993). It was at the beach near the cliffs in Palos Verdes, just south of Redondo Beach. He loved swimming in the ocean, lakes, and rivers.

 

Nicky in 2003 

On June 22nd, 2004 I've had to put down my best companion of all times. It was the hardest day of my life thus far.  Nicky, my adorable and regal Labrador Retriever, and in my opinion, was the best dog ever. He was hand-picked just for me from our Creator above. God knew exactly just the dog I needed for the last 14 years. For days before, I couldn not stop crying because I knew his day was nearing.  I really thought he would last throughout this summer, at least until my sister Mistie returned to the States from Israel to see him once again and to say good-bye, but he was suffering bad enough, so I had to let him go earlier than I wished.   Today, it is exactly 1 month since and I still cry. In fact, when I made this post and looking at his pictures, it is just as piercing as it was on that day.  He was and will always be the special dog of my life. 

This was Nicky's last meal before he was taken to the vet. I cooked him a pound of Prime Rib steak grilled just for him. He's never had table food before in his life so I figured I'd cook him something fancy for this sorrowful day of his life. It was very hard cooking it. I was literally sobbing the whole time and especially when he was eating it. I just had to take a picture because he was immensely enjoying his first and last steak.

At the vet on the floor when he was euthanized. It was the hardest moment in my entire life thus far. It was very hard to let him go. I literally held him close, talked to him, sobbed and wailed, patting him for about 15 or so minutes after he's already passed. The vet who performed was sitting at the other end very quietly and was supportive (although my mind was in a blur that I didn't notice anything else that was going on). My mom and sister were with me and they both were crying hard too. My sister took this picture and I'm glad she did because this one is a picture I will always remember forever. This shows the deep bond and inseparable relationship I had with my sweet baby, Nicholas (Nicky). You can't really see well in this picture, but his neck was really soaked and my sweatshirt on the neckline from my tears.